Sanry was so tired.
"It's getting rather late," he suggested, gesturing to the night sky. "Perhaps we'd best get to sleep soon?"
"Yeah, yeah," was Erron's response, wholly focussed on wiping some blood off of his mace with a damp cloth. "I just want to get this clean so it doesn't rust."
"Right, of course." Sanry kept a polite smile on his face, but cursed inwardly. For someone who didn't seem overly concerned with personal hygiene, Erron certainly took his sweet time cleaning his weapons.
"I mean, you can go to sleep yourself if you're tired," Erron told him.
"No, I... I can't sleep with the fire going," Sanry insisted. It was a lie—after the hard day they'd had, he could have collapsed on the spot. But, he'd told himself that he could never go to sleep before Erron did. Because if he did...
"If you're sure." Erron shrugged. "I'll only be a minute."
Sanry shifted in his seat, struggling to keep his eyes open as he waited for Erron to finish. You're a fool for doing this, he berated himself inwardly. It's not as though it'll happen as soon as you fall asleep. Maybe it won't happen at all...
But he couldn't. He couldn't take the chance.
"Alright, I think that'll do it," Erron finally said, examining his newly cleaned mace for a moment before standing. "I'm off to bed."
Sanry resisted the urge to let out a sigh of relief, instead smiling and nodding. "Alright. I'll put out the fire."
He got to his feet, gathering some dirt to put on the fire. As he did so, he kept a careful eye on Erron, watching as the other man peeled off his armor and climbed into his bedspread. It was a small mercy, Sanry decided, that Erron was usually quick to fall asleep—by the time the fire was out and Sanry walked over, Erron was wholly unconscious.
Finally, Sanry climbed into his own bedspread, letting his exhaustion take hold and carry him to what he could only hope was blissful slumber.
* * *
Some time later, Sanry jolted awake.
Of course he wasn't granted the luxury of peaceful sleep. When was he ever? He had to have another accursed nightmare, that shameful memory still haunting him to this day. Why did this keep happening? Why couldn't he just move on?
But he knew exactly why. It was because he was a failure. He could never get back what he had lost, and now he had to suffer the consequences.
The sound of Erron stirring in his sleep startled him out of his thoughts. Glancing up at the sky, he could see that the sun was rising. Sanry was still tired, but it was only a matter of time before Erron would wake up. He wasn't sure how outwardly visible his nightmares were, but he didn't want to take any chances. He didn't want Erron to know about them. He didn't want anyone to know about them.
So, he got up.